I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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