I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
