i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
You pole danced in your parka.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
