just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
