Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
