i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
