i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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