Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
