I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
