Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
