Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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