One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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