All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
