dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Randomize
