I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
