Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
