So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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