We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
