**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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