U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
