great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
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