Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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