So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
