At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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