It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
