I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
