i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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