He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
