do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
