The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
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