he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
If I die, sorry about rent.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
