Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Randomize
