Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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