He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
