That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
