Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
