drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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