Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
40s are totally the cure
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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