Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
