hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
he high fived his dick after we had sex
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
