i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
This gyro tastes like lonliness
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I love you. Go after that dick
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
