she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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