Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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