idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
