idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
