I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
