I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
