I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
