Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
