I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
