Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
