He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
