Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
