i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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